Unsatisfying Venting

There are people I have come across in my life, and no matter what I do to distract myself from them, they keep sliding into my mind. It's not a toying of my heart. It's not someone who is particularly intriguing, and they certainly do not please me. It's quite the opposite. They drive me crazy with anger and frustration. I know, I know- it's ugly to feel this way. I'm not usually hell bent on disliking someone. They don't even play a real role in my life- they interrupt others' lives. They are a part of lives that I DO care about. Lives that are constantly teased, tested and tormented because of these people are why my mind races with thoughts of .....

anger.

Just anger.

I don't like feeling this way. I don't know how to get them out of my head. I want them out of my head, not just to let the anger go, but to also keep from giving them the satisfaction of having another person pay attention to them. Attention is what they want, and I hate that I pay attention to them. They don't need my attention. I don't want to give them my attention.

How do I let it go?

Do I vent? Do I yell at them? Do I pour out specifics on this blog, allowing this ugliness to leak out for others to see? Do I need other people to see it- people who are not involved? Hell, I'm not even involved in the situations that make my frustrations develop, but I just can't help it. I'd feel like a bitch if I call out people, name names and tell them that I think these people are fooling no one when they claim to be a victim- when they claim to be justifying their actions based on protecting the feelings of the people they supposedly care about. I want to call them out and cry, "bullshit!" But not only do I think I would feel like I'm being a bitch, but (and maybe even more so) I feel like my words would fall upon deaf ears.

And, of course, it would be cowardly to just bitch and moan about someone, whilst never confronting the actual culprit. Still, why should I care about these people? They have not shown concern for others, so should I show concern for their feelings?

Yes. I am not them.

So what do I do? Why do I care? I am not involved.

Sometimes I fight harder for others than for myself. When someone hurts me personally, I deal with it. When someone hurts someone I care about- I go crazy. This is why I get so angry. I see others getting hurt. I see others being made a fool. I see others being taken advantage of. I see others getting their hearts broken. I watch it all, and I feel like my hands are tied. Not knowing if my words would ever help, I just stay angry, and I'm afraid that my anger will subside only when these people stop the emotional destruction they so selfishly create.

Man, sometimes I wish I could be okay with being the bitch.